i’m down at gordon a few days this week to babysit. however, i’m not babysitting today, so i’m just hanging out here, except i am nowhere near as relaxed as that phrase would imply.  i am essentially trying to see, catch up with, and say goodbye to all of my friends.  and seeing as how today is the first day of school for all of them, that is not too easy.  what makes it odd for me is that i am sitting in the library on my computer, i have a backpack, and i’ll be eating in the cafeteria.  i feel as if i am lying to everyone i pass, tricking them into thinking i belong. but i don’t.  all summer i was the one who belonged amidst the waves of transitory camp kids.  but now that everyone else has returned, i’m no longer supposed to be here.  but like a good parasite i just keep hanging on past my time, mooching off of all my friends, making the transition to my absence that much more difficult.  as i spend time in this twisted limbo, saying goodbye becomes just as confusing, because i never know if it’s reallythe last time i’m seeing someone, and i’m not even packed or anything yet. frustration.

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