it’s 7th week. i have a essays due tomorrow, monday, and next thursday.  that will be the end of the oxford michaelmas term.  then i have a week to write my long essay for my program.  it’s amazing how quickly the end of this term is approaching.  after talking with some of my friends here, we have come to the realisation that this program is cruel.  by the time we’ve all settled in and formed incredible friendships with one another, we have to come to terms with the fact that we are going to be leaving in 3 weeks, perhaps many of us never seeing one another again.  i wasn’t expecting it, but i think that this may turn out to be one of the hardest parts of this experience for me.  the nature of the program is such that you live with amazing people – it’s unfathomable that you could simply say, “oh, sorry, i’m not going to get to know you because we’re only going to know each other for 4 months.”  but that’s the truth of it.  if we’re going to become so close and comfortable with one another, it is going to be so painful to say goodbye.  it makes me nervous about how awkward it will be to say hello to a whole new group next term, in a new environment. i suppose we’ll just have to see.

on another note: last night was a superb night of procrastination.  my roommate created a harmony to go along with a song i play on the guitar, and we spent hours playing and singing.  we both enjoyed it so much, and i’m surprised it’s taken us this long to start singing together.  it seems we had had our fill of academia and needed to let our musical selves run free for a while.  for those of you who are musically inclined, i hope you know the incredible feeling of performing a song you think is beautiful and suddenly having that beauty expand exponentially because, alongside your voice, there are new complementary notes.  of course this resulted in much music making over the course of the night.  by the time i went to bed my voice and fingers were exhausted, and i was caught somewhere between frustration and exaltation – i had been able to do things i’ve long wished for, and also become aware of how much more i wish i could do.  nonetheless, it was refreshing and awakened a part of me that i am not going to let go of.

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