well, not really. and i’m not saying that because of haines. it’s the nature of the job.

folks, where is betty friedan? i need her to hear my confession. she will be so horribly disappointed. my excitement level over a new vacuum cleaner was absolutely off the charts.

i went to the library for about half an hour in the early evening. i came back and there was a vacuum cleaner sitting on the porch! how could i tell it was a vacuum cleaner? it was in one of those fancy boxes that has a picture on the outside…duh…

my excuses:

one – i didn’t know it was coming. SURPRISES ARE EXCITING

two – packages never get delivered, they have to be picked up at the post office. NOT CARRYING A VACUUM CLEANER HOME IS EXCITING

three – it lets me hear that satisfying dirt-being-sucked-up sound so much more than the old vacuum cleaner. THOROUGH CLEANLINESS IS EXCITING

four – it leaves the carpet fluffy, even the flattened upstairs carpet. FLUFFINESS IS EXCITING

five – it looks so cool.


okay, so i sound like i’ve been brainwashed by a fifties tv commercial featuring lace apron lady. but if i’m not wearing pearls while operating it can i still be liberated?